In my last post I attempted to make a visit to the Parliament Palace. The heat was causing me a lot of issues medically causing low sugar levels. Smartly, I decided to make my way back to my hostel, have a cold shower and I stopped the post with me at the bar drinking a mango juice.

Bingo Night and Ria

I can’t fully remember what I did from this point which was late afternoon until early evening but I think I was just under the tent on a bean bag listening to a podcast episode with the juice and some crisps on hand. I think I did manage to get half an hour of sleep at some point in this period, which was great. But the period was mainly just to recuperate and get a little out of the heat.

That evening was quite fun and memorable. It was bingo night under the tent with music where small sections of music were played and you had to mark off the song on your card if it was there. The run up to the start was actually quite exciting with many people coming into the bar and finding somewhere to sit and join in. 

I got talking to a young woman at this point whose name was Ria. She’s actually Swedish but is currently working in Bucharest in another hostel. We got talking and had a deeper conversation than with most people at a bar where you’re just introducing yourself. 

She is an only child and she is starting to get under a bit of pressure from her mum and dad to settle down, get married and start a family. I can 100% resonate with this and this was a shared experience that we really connected on. We talked about travelling and I asked her what her favourite place in Europe was. She replied Sweden which shouldn’t have been a surprise. My favourite place is Croatia and we talked about this. 

Interestingly what I have discovered on holiday by asking this question to Brits and non Brits is that quite a lot of the time non Brits say their home country as their favourite place in Europe. Brits however typically say places like Portugal, Spain  or the really tourist places. Anywhere else other than the UK – commonly from the people I have spoken to on my trips but maybe not everyone. 

It got me thinking later on in the holiday if this was purely down to the weather or maybe something more like identity, pride or national emotion. I think for a lot of Europeans it is the latter, but for a lot of Brits it may not be down to these emotive factors but rather the scenery, weather and seasons as to where your favourite place is. I think that may say something about our connectedness emotively with being British and what this means. Anyway, enough politics.

Ria at one point noticed a guy sitting by himself who she did actually know but for whatever reason seemed to be avoiding her. He was sitting away from the tent on one of the table benches and she said she was going to speak to him and ask if I’d like to come. I didn’t immediately go, just to give her some privacy but I went a short while later and introduced myself to Ryse. 

Ryse had been travelling across Europe for about 6 months now and he prefers renting airbnb’s instead of staying in hostels as he prefers the greater independence which is very reasonable as that’s what some people value. Ryse is American and he was nearing the 6 month duration for travelling within the Schengen area without a visa. 

He was contemplating where to go next and his choices were between the UK and Turkey. He was leaning more towards the UK so we talked briefly about that and where he planned to visit. Ria made her way back to the tent on the bean bag. I stayed talking to Ryse for 10 or so minutes just on our travelling plans and hostel life. I said bye to Ryse soon after and rejoined Ria back at the tent. I did invite Ryse to join us but he never did.

Back at the tent I sat down back in the bean bag next to Ria. We shared a kind of foot cushion to just lie back with both of our feet up on the cushion. We talked about what the situation was with Ryse and Ria mentioned that that friendship had actually broken down in her opinion. 

Ria explained the circumstances and how she felt. I agreed with her and have some similar experiences with a friend of mine – well now more of an acquaintance rather than a friend. I think you can meet some people who behave overly pivoted towards money, maybe because they see their self worth with regards to how much money they have. This is the case with my acquaintance. I told Ria the same thing and she agreed that these are quite toxic people. And I really agree with this as that person is no longer a real friend of mine as the relationship just started to feel very uneven and he was only ever getting in contact when he needed something or wanted to discuss his latest “venture”.

After a few days, Ria made an excuse to say that she needed her place back due to family. It was just an excuse to get Ryse out of the house as he wasn’t being very courteous towards her. Since then, they haven’t really been speaking and she saw him at the bench and I think just wanted to clarify the situation. I never saw them together the rest of the night.

Ria and I talked some more during the evening/night. We talked about various things including pressures from family, covid, religion and meeting others. It was a much more meaningful conversation than what you’d probably speak to people on holiday which was really nice and made me feel like I was speaking to a close friend on holiday. 

Ria mentioned that a friend of hers who she had met in Warsaw in Poland would be coming to the bar soon and I did ask if she would like some privacy or if she minded whether I stay. She was very kind and said no this was just a friend and I got talking to him who was a bit shy at first. 

He was Polish and a professional football player for a Polish football team. I’m not sure if I got the name right but it was something like Arup or Anup. I’m not sure if the Polish name is something more or if this was just a short nickname. But he came across as very professional and very easy to talk to. He was very open and very interested in having a conversation. We didn’t speak for too long as by this point I decided to make my way to my dorm to get a good night’s sleep before flying out the next morning. Me and Ria said goodbye and I said it was lovely to meet her. She had asked for my number earlier in the evening so that we could keep in contact through WhatsApp which was really nice of her. 

Was I hopeful that anything was going to happen? No, not really I didn’t have any expectations. I was just pleased to meet someone and have an interesting conversation. If they chose to keep in touch by all means I’m happy to do so, but I never had any expectations that this would develop into something more. If it does, then great but I’m not going to chase. 

Meeting Others – Rule 1: Backed by Science

I think this mentality has changed as you grow up a bit when it comes to relationships and friends. Previously I would have been more emotionally entangled quite quickly, and probably misinterpreted an interest from someone as something more. Due to this I would’ve been up for the “chase” but this would only ever result in disappointment and possibly hurt feelings. But now as I’ve grown older, I never behave like this and I have stopped initiating anything. If a person is interested, by all means I’m happy to see where it goes but I’m not going to try to cause a reaction.

In chemical reactions, the amount of reactants play a crucial role. The overall quantity of atoms between two reactants is always the same, none is lost or created. However, the atoms are rearranged to form new products. 

Therefore balancing the equation ensures that the same number of atoms appears on both sides. The equation for water for example: H2O is H2 + O2. This means that you need 2 hydrogen atoms for every one oxygen atom to create 2 water molecules. If you’ve ever seen The Martian where Mark Watney (played by Matt Damon) initially creates water but ends up blowing himself up because he forgot to account for the excess reactant after the limiting reactant was used in the equation, it was simply a case of elementary chemistry and not taking into account that you need to account for all particles in an equation. 

I think all types of relationships work like this between two people. Normally, relationships work well and are balanced when one person sets the environment, the tone and background to enable a reaction or a relationship to develop. 

But they shouldn’t try to force something to happen. The limiting reactant, i.e the other person in the potential relationship is who the onus really is for something to develop. They have the discretion and choice to create some form of a reaction by doing small things to give an indication of interest. This may be through agreeing to a meal or a drink or something really small. And provided that the environment is right, that’s all that’s really required to create a sort of chemical reaction. But any more of this from either of the parties will disrupt and unbalance the equation which may result in one person showing more keenness than the other or even controlling relationships which are not healthy.  I said all of the above to Ria during our conversations which she agreed with and found interesting.

What I’ve learnt from this holiday is never to instigate or push for anything. I’ve always just had the objective of having an interesting conversation and meeting new people. But I had no expectations beyond this. This created somewhat of the background in getting to know someone. If that person eventually asked to keep in touch, by all means I’m happy to keep in touch and share my details. 

But I would never go to the extent of asking to keep in touch. It’s really down to the other person. I think this becomes more the case if you’re a man. You don’t want to come across as too keen, too needy etc. If the other person would like to keep in touch by all means that’s a good thing, but don’t push for it. Leave the onus on the other person. This is just my approach which I’ve come to learn from experience. Everyone needs to learn and develop their own however.

Other parts of the evening were quite fun. As it was a music bingo night, you would often hear the crowd singing along to different tunes. There were two young women who were quite memorable as they would dance together and sing on different songs. This was quite fun to watch and I remember sharing videos with one of the girls the next day. So all in all, a very fun night and fantastic evening in a great atmosphere.

I did see some other sites in Bucharest during my time there including a public fountain and park which was really lovely. Bucharest is a lovely city but it’s more like a metropolitan city much like any other European working city. It’s not so touristy but despite this it was a lovely place to visit. 

Bucharest Henri Coandă International Airport

One part of my visit to Bucharest which was, I’m not sure of the right word, but didn’t give me a very positive impression was at the airport getting my flight to Vienna. I was stopped randomly as I was walking around in the terminal a total of 5 times by security or just generally by other people. They asked me the same two questions each time – “where are you going” and “can I see your passport”. 

I mention this because I noticed it happened a lot with Asian or Middle Eastern looking people. I remember waiting at the gate to board the plane and these two Asian or middle eastern guys came out and they were immediately asked for ID as they were coming out whilst everyone else was just leaving with no checks or being stopped. There was another guy who again was the same or similar ethnicity as myself who again was stopped. All of us were ok, provided you co-operate, there’s never any problem at all but it became quite obvious and apparent to me that they had a tendency to stop people who looked more like me than with other ethnicities. 

I’m not sure why but I think with the ongoing migrant crisis, it could perhaps be  a reason. One of the other potential reasons which I really hope is not true, is perhaps there is a racial undertone to it. I say this because after all the stops I went through and the questions, and given everything I witnessed, it sort of felt like this as a brown man just travelling. 

But hey you know it’s security and as a passenger, I’m glad they are doing checks like these to keep me safe but I just think the way in which it is being done has a sort of discriminatory feel to it. 

By the way, London airports felt like this a while ago, and I know this because I travel a lot. But this has really positively changed over the last few years and I think it really came down to two things. Not using the word “random” – because come on don’t patronise me. And two, being polite and smiling when doing these types of checks to put you at ease. I enjoy that they now go through some effort in starting a conversation with you about your travel plans. I think this really helps and other countries would do well to learn from.

Romanian people can come across very cold and unapproachable at first. Little acts of kindness and politeness can go a long way however. In a cafe when I finished my coffee I would always take my cup and plate back to the counter rather than leaving it at the table. 

The waitress would more often than not initially have a face of dread on them and say oh no you didn’t need to do that! But that heightened level of emotion does give you an opportunity to lighten the mood and give them some comfort and positivity by insisting that it’s okay and you wanted to, which leads on to them being thankful and being more open towards you. Just make sure you smile and sound reassuring too, don’t be monotone! 

I hope you’re enjoying this post and blog so far! And I hope you’ve learnt something new about Bucharest and Romania. It hasn’t always had the best impression with a lot of people which I think is a bit unfair. Bucharest/Romania is very underrated in my opinion.

If you’ve enjoyed this post please do share and hype it up as much as possible. First time I’m using ‘hype’ but if YouTube influencers can use, why not! Stay tuned as I describe my wonderful experience of visiting Vienna in Austria.

Get ready for some surprises as I talk about visiting an FKK resort for the first time! I hope you’ll stick around to read why I went and what I thought about it.